How To Actually Make Money.. Sort Of

If you are anything like me you are probably always searching for a little extra cash to fund a lifestyle that realistically you cannot afford.  I have tried a multitude of ways to make a quick buck but I have never succeeded. Many student, or money saving websites promote all manner of mindless ways to make money, these websites jazz up mediocre and monotonous ways to make minimal amounts of money. So here is my guide to actually make money.

  1. Don’t be fooled by online surveys

Lots of sources will tell you that a great way to make a little extra money on the side is to do online surveys that pay you for your opinion. What these people fail to mention is that you get paid a pittance and the survey companies do everything in their power to take the piss out of you.

I have gone down the survey route personally, and after spending around ten hours doing surveys I have received a grand total of £17.85, a monumental amount I am sure you’d agree. To break this down I was being paid around £1.78 an hour, that is, as you’ll know, much much less than minimum wage. There are children in India getting paid more for making Nike trainers.

It is dressed up as an easy way to make a few quid, in reality it is bordering on slave labour. My advice; spend your time wisely, don’t bother taking part in surveys.

  1. Ruthlessly sell you possessions


Sell, sell, sell it all. It is unbelievable the utter shit people will buy on the internet. The key to making money when your selling your possessions is that whatever you think is worthless and no one would buy actually has a value to someone, somewhere. I have sold faulty, unfixable computer components to people because they think they can fix them and make some money.

Get ruthless and get rid of everything you haven’t used in six months. You’ll soon see that you have a few extra pounds in your pocket that you can go out and buy more useless stuff with.

  1. Buy fake money from the deep web but don’t get caught

This one is not for the feint-hearted and not something I have or would try because frankly I am a massive pussy-bitch.

Get your self access to the deep web, the part of the internet normal people don’t go and the authorities can’t find.  It is here you can buy £100 of fake bank notes for £26. But how are you going to spend them you say?

The easiest way to turn these notes into real money is to buy chewing gum and other inexpensive items in return for real money in your change, or at a busy bar where no body has the time to check if the money is legit.

  1. Get a good at gambling

Betting is fun, but it is not sustainable. Unless your willing to risk losing lots of money you’ll never reap big benefits. In reality you’ll never beat the bookie and when you do you’ll only be breaking even on all the times you have lost before.

There is of course ‘matched betting’ which is virtually risk free, but the process is long and tedious. If you have got the patience then go for it, but small mistakes are often costly and will leave you worse off than when you started.

It’s a risky old game but if you have the nerve and patience betting isn’t a half bad way of making a few quid for the weekend.

5. Get a god-damn job

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There is no better way to make money than to have a job.  What’s that you say? You already have a job? Well get a second or a third job, if you want to have money to spend on nice things work your fingers to the bone.  There is nothing worse than listening to someone moan about having no money when they are unwilling to work for it.

I know this isn’t what you wanted to read, but the harsh truth is that there is no quicker way to make extra cash than to get a job and just work hard for a few months.  The Chances are you won’t have the time or enthusiasm to go out and spend all your hard earned cash.

1 thought on “How To Actually Make Money.. Sort Of”

  1. Not a bad post, but you’ve not really covered any ways to make money over a long period of time, of course getting a job will make money, but people will probably want to be avoiding that option if they’re reading this haha.

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