The Worst Places In The World – Supermarkets

As a 22 year old male I am not ashamed to admit I love grocery shopping. However there is one thing I don’t like, and that is the other assholes that also want to use a supermarket at the same time as me.

More often than not I only want a couple of items, maybe grab some wonderfully fresh bread or some olives off of the deli, so in terms of time, I want to be in and out like a virgin in amsterdam. So why the fuck have people got to get in my way and do shit to annoy me every single time I go into a shop.

The problem starts the second you enter the car park. It seems that on arrival at a supermarket everybody has a compulsion to become an ignorant fuck. People cutting you up, ripping their cars into the empty space you were waiting for, people who can’t park properly, the list literally goes on forever, and we haven’t even entered the shop yet.

This is a picture i took moments after writing this. It shows a typically assholic shopper's attempt at parking.
This is a picture I took moments after writing this. It shows a typically assholic shopper’s attempt at parking.

Entering the shop itself almost takes as much nerve as entering a bullring, you have people smashing you up with their trolleys, and most of the time just completely overlooking your existence. The only time a supermarket patron will acknowledge you is if you happen to get in their way (usually by accident).

Often I’ll take a step back from the shelving so that I can peruse all of the items on offer. This is when old people decide its better for them to stand in front of me to look. This is the one thing that pisses me off the most. Why the fuck can’t people see me? They could at least stand a little closer to the shelf but just to the side a bit, so we can both look at the same time. Oh fucking no, people give no shits.

The next worst thing about supermarketers is trolley pushers. I totally understand that people need trolleys in order to fulfil their shopping experience, but it seems once in control of a trolley shoppers turn into gigantic assholes. Trolley pushers are like the BMW drivers of the supermarket world, and those basket carriers merely the Fiat Punto drivers just looking to nip around quickly. In any case, these Supermarket BMWs have no hesitation in cutting you up, or just driving into you and claiming it was your fault. My point here being, people give no shits.

I won’t go into detail about many of the other minor annoyances I face every time I go shopping, but I will briefly vent about the fucking checkouts. Why the fuck do stupid motherfuckers think it’s funny to scan their entire shop at a self-service till. Everybody knows these are for baskets, or even 10 items or less, but people still think it will save time to scan their entire weeks shopping. It wouldn’t be such a problem, but one in three items ‘require assistance’ from the spotty faced fuck who looks after these tills and is rarely on hand to actually help.

This is a message to anybody using a supermarket, get the fuck out of my way I want to shop in peace. You might say, well why don’t you just go late at night when nobody is around. You want to know why? Because everybody else has that same idea and its always fucking busy. Always.

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1 thought on “The Worst Places In The World – Supermarkets”

  1. Pingback: YACK! Does… Dietary Restriction | Yack Magazine

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