New News Now with Kipp Beatley: Breastfeeding Woman Squirts Boobie Milk At Idiot

So whilst America descends into a furious parody and Theresa May holds backdoor negotiations with every despot and dandy she can, this has to be our favourite piece of headlinery.

It starts with a simple act, a woman feeding her hungry child. But the plot thickens someone is offended by the lady performing that basic human function. So this second lady walks over to the breastfeeding mother and demands she go somewhere private. It’s a story that has no doubt played out countless times and will likely continue to do so even though since 2010 it has been illegal to try and deny babies the right to unrestricted access to Mummy’s mammaries. This however was no normal Mum, her response will go down in history as the most perfect, in response to being told her breastfeeding was offensive and distracting to the second ladies husband she gave a “fuck off” and squirted her lactate at the offensive offendee.

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The story cascaded onto the internet on a overflowing river of boobymilk after it was posted on a local Facebook forum. The internet has always been a fan of squirting and has championed the woman’s right to breastfeed if not the direct action.

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We at Yack personally hope that the cuss left the nosey lady’s mouth agape and the loose lactate was well aimed enough to land right in her gaping offended maw. What’s your take on the story? Leave your illuminated opinions below.

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