Fat Chicks

I knew I shouldn’t have done it. I didn’t even want to. I know better than that, I knew it was going to be bad for me but I couldn’t bloody resist it. What did I do? A big, fat, juicy bag of heroin? No. Much worse. I fucking well read an article written in the Daily Hate-Mail, what a knob.


So as you can possibly tell by the title of this rage manifesto, the article I read was about overweight girls in the UK. Linda Kelsey is an apparently self confessed “fattist” who took it upon herself to discuss her issues regarding the weight of women in the UK and how she is utterly disgusted by our alleged pride in being over weight. To demonstrate her point, Linda tells us how whilst standing in line at the airport she spotted a group of three girls who are heading for the costa del sol. BUT WAIT!! These girls are a REPULSIVE size 18 or more!! And guess what, they are SHARING a bag of crisps. WHHHHAAAT THE FUUUCK? HOW IS THIS ALLOWED? WHYY ARE THESE WILDERBEAST OUTSIDE OF CAPTIVITY, ROAMING AROUND THE AIRPORT? Someone had better phone Robin Williams, as it seems someone opened Jumangi again.

I don’t even know where to begin with this article. I was so full of anger when I read it, I could feel my temperature rising rapidly as my eyes flew over each hateful word. So perhaps it makes most sense to start with my initial reaction and work from there: FUCK YOU LINDA!

Now, to my more considered response; Why is the entire world so bloody interested in everyone else? If the women mentioned in the article are a size 18 and have the confidence to wear whatever they like the look of, then surely this should be something to celebrate to some extent, not berated and publically shamed? For these women to have the self confidence to decorate themselves in shorts and leggings and t-shirts, all the apparel that Linda deems so offensive to her precious eyes, in an age where ASOS stocks a UK size 4, where every mannequin seems to have the body shape of a child, where every magazine and website is saturated in celebrity diets and tips about how to shed ten pounds in 3 weeks. No wonder we’re all so fucking fat, we’re being force fed on a diet of utter bullshit (666kcal per 1g).

Good on these women for not buckling under the social pressure to be a perfect size 10. After all, there are enough women collectively holding up a banner of insecurity based on the soulless rants of busy fucking twats like this “writer”. I raise a glass to those who don’t give a shit. Quite frankly, it’s none of our business who is a size 6 or who is a size 26. Fat shaming and skinny shaming has become an ugly cultural practice that leaves a sour taste in my mouth and many like me.


Please don’t misinterpret what I’m saying, I’m not flying the flag for obesity. I’m not insisting that we million-man march from gym to gym torching them to the ground and burning our sports bras on the way, although the walk would probably do us some good. I’m not saying we uproot every vegetable patch, salad garden and tofu factory in the world and build a Burger King over every single one and pretend like we don’t know what a nutrient is. Of course not, I recognize that obesity is a huge (lololololol) problem, not just for the UK but also for many countries.

Worryingly, childhood obesity is on the rise, this is obviously due to a combination of bad diet and lack of exercise. I can understand this, I personally, I remember gaining about 5lbs when GTA 1 was released on PlayStation in the 90s. And lets not forget, the world is a scary place for parents. The Daily Mail would have us believe there is a Rolf on every street; every other house on your road is wall to wall packed with aggressive pedophiles, all frothing at the jaws like jackals, desperate for a chance to whisper your precious cubs into a white, unmarked transit van with the promise of kittens and puppies and ipads.  So I get it parents, why would you send your babies off to the park when you can sit them in front of the tellybox where they can safely jack a car and murder the shit out of everyone? But dude, your baby boy has got a wotsit, fizzing away in a pool of sweat under his boychild-breast. That’s weird. Boy younglings typically don’t have breasts. This shouldn’t happen to a child. A child is in the care of a person who should be trying to ensure that they are given a fair chance at staying alive past 35 without a list as long as Charles Bronsons criminal record, of health problems. For a child it’s not their choice, its your job to look after them.

But what is considered “healthy” doesn’t begin and end with the body. To be healthy, multiple elements should be considered and nurtured. Children and adults alike should be taught the importance of having a healthy body, a healthy mind, a healthy self-image and a healthy respect for others. Callous insults from a narrow minded, bitchy, woman from the Daily Mail doesn’t make for a good example of health to anyone, its just an unfortunate example of the diet of bigotry we’re sustaining ourselves on in order to get a quick jab of cheap self esteem by victimizing someone else. Writing an article about how unattractive and horrible overweight people are to look at, does not promote health. It promotes hate. Fat is bad, not fat PEOPLE. Linda’s opinion is just that, an opinion, not a FACT.

There are ways to promote health, via adverts about healthy eating and healthy lifestyles, making fresh fruit and veg more affordable, help with stopping smoking, effective information about drugs and alcohol. More true-to-life fashion models, stopping airbrushing magazines. Fat/skinny shaming is not healthy. It’s spiteful. And it breeds insecurity.

Equally, allowing someone to walk around in a pair of shorts without publicly humiliating them is not glorifying being over weight, its accepting the fact that, in the famous words of Morrissey, “some girls are bigger than others”. No one has the right to comment or pass judgment on what someone else looks like. Especially not some glorified keyboard monkey hiding her prejudice behind a paper-thin argument of health concern.

I’m size 16/18, 22 across my chest. Should I not be allowed out in the summer unless I don a maxi dress and a shawl? I suppose Linda would be most happy if I should just roast away indoors or only leave the house if I am covered from head to toe in only specific types of clothing, instead of being comfortable, incase I offend the ever so sensitive eyes of the Daily Mail and others who are sympathetic with this way of thinking?

Not on your fucking nelly mate. I’m sick to death of feeling ashamed of myself. I take regular exercise, I walk my dogs, I attend yoga, I swim. I eat fairly well, most of the time, but like many others I indulge in meals out more often than I perhaps should do, because cooking everyday is boring as shit. But the fact of the matter is I am who I am. Sometimes that’s a size 12/14 other times it’s a size 16/18. But there is more to me than just my dress size. I’m a full time student, I love animals, and I’m a sister, a fiancé and a grand daughter. I work in a bar and purposefully watch sad videos on YouTube to make myself cry everyday, just to check my soul is still there. My dress size has very little to do with my actual life. Should I be apologetic about those numbers tagged on my label? I’m not any more. I am sorry for one thing though, I’m sorry to myself for hating myself for so many years, I’m sorry for being so hard on myself, for pushing myself to extreme limits, for putting myself at risk and not appreciating the fact that just being who I am should be good enough for me. I’m sorry I listened to rumors and I’m sorry I bought into lies. I should have been kinder to myself.


And if Linda is such a self-confessed unapologetic fattist, then I would delight in hearing how she approached these women and told them how repulsive she found them. Did Linda lead the way in her own campaign to be so bloody unapologetic to fatties by telling them how utterly unattractive she finds them, or did she just slyly slither home and write a shit article, cashing in on fuelling and perpetuating peoples insecurities for about 50p a word? What fucking nonsense this is. Piss off Linda you old witch. Someone get me a coke.

If you wanted to read the original piece by Linda Kelsey (we clearly don’t recommend you do) you can here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2686676/Why-todays-young-women-unashamed-fat-Horrified-rolls-flesh-shes-witnessed-summer-LINDA-KELSEY-takes-no-prisoners.html

Words by Miss Carriage

Pictures by Jasons Haggard Faces


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