I will start by first stating that Maria Miller is a cunt, the clue was in the title. She is no more and no less of a cunt than most politicians, but unfortunately for her, all the reasons why she is such a massive one are now in the public domain and very easily proven if anyone ever dared to contend my statement. If you haven’t been kept abreast of the evolving scandal between this saggy faced being and your hard earned, painfully wrested tax money, I will summarize it for you now.
Maria Miller lives in Basingstoke, which is all of a 47 minute commute from London, now as an MP she is allowed to claim travel as an expense, but she doesn’t just do that. Because as an MP she is also allowed to claim a second home as an expense, presumably because she needs to be in both her constituency and also in London a lot, and when that (worst case scenario) hour long journey seems too much, she needs a little flat or something in London she can just you know, do her thing in for a night or two. So Maria Miller claimed that her -four- bedroom Basingstoke address was her main home and that the new -five- bedroom house in Wimbledon, was her second home. She began claiming expenses on this “second home” which obviously being in Wimbledon and a larger property than her home in Basingstoke, cost considerably more. I know what you’re thinking, “Yack you were right, Maria Miller is a cunt, you’ve already proved it to me”, well not only should we commend you for being correct, we should also tell you to buckle in and put on a waterproof coat, because we’ve only just started squeezing this slimy, oozing, pustule of a politician Maria Miller.
So Maria Miller now has a little money going free, on account of how she spends none of the yearly salary, that would make most of us drool, on the little things that after we’ve paid tax, seem to eat up whatever remaining funds we had left, like rent and travel. So what should she do with all this extra money? Well she started making improvements on that Wimbledon home folks, that’s what she did. Remember that “second home” she had? That definitely wasn’t her main address, ignoring the fact that her parents lived there, her husband worked in London and her children went to school in London, this was most certainly a second home. In 2009 Maria Miller stopped claiming suspiciously around the same time as the furor and scandal involving many other politicians doing the exact same thing with second home expenses, the major bone of contention being the fact that MPs were selling these second homes without paying capital gains tax for massive profit. However she only waits a year before she starts filing for expenses for her second home in Basingstoke, I know what you’re thinking, yeah the one that she MISTAKENLY thought was her main address previously. Then in 2014 she sold her Wimbledon property -without- paying capital gains tax for a profit of around £1 million pounds.
Maria Miller was caught, an investigation was launched and she was ordered to repay £45,000 of the £90,000 pounds she had claimed in expenses. Which is already a fairly lenient deal, because if I owed the taxman £100 I know for a fact that HRMC would not accept me paying £50, and I would find myself in court quicker than you can say “irreparably broken system”. But wait it gets better, because a group of Maria’s fellow Tories felt that the parliamentary standards commissioner Kathryne Hudson had been too harsh on poor little Maria Miller and overturned this decision, ruling that Maria Miller should repay only £5,000 pounds, and make and apology, because it’s not like our economy needs the rest of the £85,000 pounds she effectively stole from the country or anything.
In the wake of all this Miller has been the target of a considerable amount of hatred, on account of how she is a reprehensible waste of oxygen, but worse than all of this she has now tried to claim that this is REVENGE by MPs angry at her for backing LGBT rights in commons. Seemingly oblivious to the fact she has been absent or voted against in every single major LGBT rights vote. So in a disgusting, weasely effort at damage control she is trying to paint herself as a martyr for the LGBT community? Thankfully it is so see through no one would ever believe this sack of slimy putrescence.
Equally disgusting is the support she has received from that pie faced whelp of a prime minister David Cameron. Where he should have turned around and said “yes, she is a fucking idiot and I hate her, she deserves to be donkey punched by an ogre, on account of how she did pretty illegal stuff and made all politicians look even more outrageously out of touch and dickheadish than we already do” he instead supported her emphatically. By proxy supporting corruption within parliament, and the slap on the wrist punishment handed down to her. I already thought the man was a sniveling, ornament, propped up rectally by the silver spoon he was born with, but now I’m damn sure of it. In his defense it is more than likely that the pathetic creep was forced to support her due to her position as ‘Minister for Women and Equality’ and ironically still one of the only women with a seat in the house of cunts. But it’s not a sexist system, it’s not broken, it’s not his fault.
If you need any further proof that Maria Miller is an absolute cunt then go look at her website, there is no excuse for having a website that shit in this day and age, unless you are a massive piece of shit yourself.
If you need any further proof that David Cameron is an absolute cunt, go die.
Words by Matt Miles